When the call came from Martin Scorsese’s office confirming a movie about my ex-husband, Jordan Belfort, was in production, my immediate reaction was dread. The thought of my personal pain, our tumultuous marriage, being dramatized on screen was unsettling.
Jordan’s memoir, The Wolf of Wall Street, had already been published in 2007, detailing his infamous career as a New York stockbroker. Knowing Jordan’s drive, the movie adaptation, announced around 2012, wasn’t entirely unexpected. He’s a man who turns ambition into action.
By that time, I had undergone significant personal growth through therapy and education. I came to understand that this cinematic venture was far beyond my control. Reluctantly, I surrendered to the process, accepting the narrative, even though it wouldn’t be told from my perspective. It was a difficult realization, but ultimately, I had no say.
Nadine Macaluso and Margot Robbie as depicted in The Wolf of Wall Street movie, alongside Jordan Belfort
My first encounter with Jordan was in the Hamptons in the early 1990s. He hosted a party that epitomized the excessive lifestyle fueled by Wall Street wealth and youthful exuberance. The movie accurately captured this atmosphere – I even recall someone exposing themselves, prompting my immediate desire to leave. Jordan, however, sought me out after that initial chaotic meeting. Despite the whirlwind beginning, we fell in love and married.
Our marriage spanned eight years, a period marked by both joy and considerable turmoil. While there were undoubtedly positive moments, Jordan’s persistent drug use cast a long shadow, leading to frequent and intense conflicts. The breaking point arrived during a joint session with a drugs counselor. When Jordan missed an appointment, she turned to me and delivered a stark warning: “If you don’t divorce this man, you’re going to get cancer.”
That pronouncement acted as a catalyst. That very night, I staged an intervention for Jordan. I confronted him, saying, “I refuse to stand by and watch you destroy yourself, just because you make other people money. I won’t be a part of it anymore.”
A year later, Jordan was arrested and subsequently convicted of money laundering and securities fraud, the very activities depicted in The Wolf of Wall Street. Paradoxically, this legal downfall provided me with the sense of safety and resolve needed to leave the marriage. It wasn’t about the money, which was long gone; it was about finally feeling secure enough to end the relationship.
Leaving Jordan brought an overwhelming sense of liberation. I had wisely started a maternity business during our marriage, providing me with a focus and financial independence to support my children. I didn’t seek financial support from Jordan and walked away to forge my own path.
About a year later, I found love again with a wonderful man living in California. Seeking a fresh start, I moved west with my children. This new chapter has brought immense happiness. I’ve been married to my current husband for 22 years, a testament to lasting love and stability.
From the outset, Jordan and I consciously chose to maintain an amicable relationship, prioritizing our children’s well-being above all else. While we’ve had our disagreements, we made a commitment to co-parenting effectively. During their childhood, Jordan would often join us for holidays like Christmas and Thanksgiving.
In my late thirties, I decided to pursue a career change and become a therapist. I felt a deep sense of fulfillment in helping others, a stark contrast to the garment business I was leaving behind. My own experiences with therapy had been transformative, providing a crucial safe space during a chaotic period of my life.
Returning to education, I earned a master’s degree to become a licensed therapist. While accumulating the required 3,000 hours of supervised practice, I pursued a doctorate. Eventually, I established my own practice, initially focusing on couples and individuals struggling with anxiety and depression.
The announcement of The Wolf of Wall Street movie in 2013 coincided with my own therapy journey. Treatment provided a sanctuary to process the complex emotions surrounding the impending cinematic portrayal of my past traumas for a global audience.
Ironically, my career as a therapist blossomed around the same time as the movie’s release. Initially, I worried about how my past association with Jordan Belfort might affect my professional standing. However, the opposite occurred. People were intrigued, often saying, “You went through that and became this? I want to see you.” The very thing I feared became an unexpected asset.
As my practice evolved, I found myself increasingly working with women who had experienced abusive relationships and trauma bonding. This became a profound passion. For the past five years, I’ve dedicated myself to researching trauma bonding – the intense emotional connection formed after cyclical abuse – and am currently writing a book on the subject, slated for release next year. My personal history with Jordan Belfort, as depicted in The Wolf of Wall Street, provides a unique and relatable perspective for those seeking help.
Before the movie’s 2013 premiere, I requested the producers to change my name for privacy. I had no creative input and received no financial compensation from the film. However, when Scorsese’s office contacted me to arrange a meeting with Margot Robbie, who portrayed me – renamed as Naomi Lapaglia in The Wolf of Wall Street – I readily agreed. Meeting Margot was a positive experience. She was 22, the same age I was when I first met Jordan. Accompanied by her speech coach, she recorded our conversation to perfect my Brooklyn accent.
The movie depicted arguments with Jordan primarily centered around his infidelities. In reality, the most intense conflicts revolved around his drug addiction. While I understand the need for dramatic license in Hollywood, The Wolf of Wall Street heavily glamorized the drugs, corruption, greed, and betrayal that permeated our lives. For those who lived through it, it was far from comedic; it was deeply traumatic. In my view, it was fundamentally a drama, not a comedy.
People often ask why I waited so long to share my story. My priority was always my children, ensuring they were grown and secure before I spoke publicly. Now, as a therapist specializing in tumultuous relationships, I feel a responsibility to use my experiences to educate and empower women. My intention is not to harm Jordan, but to offer a voice and validation to women who have navigated similar experiences. My journey, though intertwined with the sensationalized narrative of The Wolf of Wall Street, is ultimately about healing, resilience, and finding strength after trauma.
Dr. Nadine Macaluso is a marriage and family therapist specializing in trauma bonding and narcissistic abuse. Follow her on Instagram @therealdrnadine or visit her website.
The views expressed are solely those of Dr. Nadine Macaluso.
As told to Monica Greep.
