When the call came from Martin Scorsese’s office confirming a movie about my ex-husband, Jordan Belfort, was in production, my immediate reaction was dread. “Oh God,” I remember thinking. The prospect of my personal pain, our tumultuous marriage, being dramatized on the big screen was deeply unsettling.
Jordan’s memoir, The Wolf of Wall Street, had already detailed his scandalous career as a New York City stockbroker since 2007. Knowing Jordan’s drive and ambition, the movie adaptation, in hindsight, shouldn’t have been a surprise.
By 2012, I had undergone significant personal growth through therapy and self-reflection. I came to realize the situation was beyond my control. I surrendered to the inevitable process, accepting what was to come. The film wouldn’t portray events from my perspective, which was a difficult pill to swallow, but I understood I had no agency over the narrative.
Nadine Macaluso, the woman behind the “Duchess of Bay Ridge” in The Wolf of Wall Street movie, alongside Jordan Belfort and Margot Robbie who portrayed her in the film.
My initial encounter with Jordan was in the Hamptons during the early 1990s. He hosted a party embodying the excessive lifestyle synonymous with Wall Street—lavish wealth and youthful exuberance. The movie accurately depicted the era; an outrageous incident did occur that made me want to leave immediately. However, Jordan pursued me after that party. We fell in love and eventually married.
Our marriage spanned eight years. While there were positive moments, it was far from idyllic. Jordan’s persistent drug abuse and our constant arguments were incredibly damaging. The turning point came during a joint session with a drugs counselor. After Jordan missed an appointment, she turned to me and stated starkly, “If you don’t divorce this man, you’re going to get cancer.”
That pronouncement acted as a catalyst. That very night, I staged an intervention for Jordan. I told him, “I refuse to stand by and watch you destroy yourself, even if you make others wealthy. I will not be a part of this any longer.”
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A year later, he faced arrest and subsequent conviction for securities fraud and money laundering. Finally, I felt empowered to leave the marriage. Contrary to popular belief, my decision to leave wasn’t triggered by financial losses. I ended the marriage because I finally felt safe and capable of doing so.
The day he moved out, a wave of relief washed over me. I felt liberated. Fortunately, I had launched a maternity business during our marriage, providing me with a focus and means to support my children. I didn’t receive any financial settlement from Jordan; I walked away with almost nothing.
About a year later, I met a wonderful man residing in California. Eventually, I relocated there with my children, seeking a fresh beginning. It was a positive change. I’ve been happily married to my current husband for 22 years.
Nadine Macaluso shares that despite the lack of creative control over the movie, she found peace in accepting the process.
Jordan and I made a conscious decision early on to maintain a friendly relationship for the sake of our children, prioritizing their well-being above all else. While disagreements are inevitable, we chose to focus on co-parenting amicably. When our children were younger, Jordan would often join us for holidays like Christmas and Thanksgiving.
In my late thirties, I decided to pursue higher education and become a therapist. I felt a shift away from the garment industry and a strong desire to give back, as therapy had been instrumental in my own healing. During a particularly challenging period in my life, therapy provided a crucial safe space to process my emotions weekly.
I earned a master’s degree and became a licensed therapist. While completing the required 3,000 hours for qualification, I also pursued a doctorate. Eventually, I established my own practice, initially focusing on couples and individuals struggling with anxiety and depression.
When the news of Jordan’s movie surfaced in 2013, I was in therapy. This therapeutic environment allowed me to process the complex emotions surrounding the prospect of my painful experiences being displayed publicly.
Ironically, my career as a therapist began around the same time the movie gained traction. I initially worried, “Who will seek therapy from me now?” However, to my surprise, many people reacted with, “You went through that and are now thriving? I want to see you.” The very thing I feared became a catalyst for growth in my practice.
Nadine Macaluso transitioned to a career as a psychotherapist in her late thirties, finding purpose in helping others.
As my practice evolved, I found myself increasingly working with women who had experienced abusive relationships and trauma bonds. This became a profound area of focus for me. About five years ago, I began in-depth research into trauma bonding—the intense emotional connection formed after recurring cycles of abuse—and I am currently writing a book on this topic, scheduled for release next year.
Prior to the movie’s release in 2013, I requested the producers to change my name. I had no creative input and received no financial compensation from the film. When Scorsese’s office contacted me to arrange a meeting with Margot Robbie, who would portray me, I agreed. Meeting her was a positive experience. She was 22, the same age I was when I first met Jordan. She brought her speech coach, and they recorded our conversation so she could perfect my Brooklyn accent.
The movie depicted arguments between Jordan and me primarily focused on his infidelity. However, the majority of our intense conflicts stemmed from his drug addiction. While I understand the need for dramatic license in Hollywood, the film heavily glamorized the drugs, corruption, greed, and betrayal that permeated our lives. It wasn’t humorous for those who lived through it; it was deeply traumatic. In my view, it was a drama, not a comedy.
People have questioned why I waited so long to share my perspective. Firstly, my priority was ensuring my children became stable, well-adjusted adults. My responsibility to them came first. Secondly, I’ve become an expert—both personally and professionally—in navigating and recovering from destructive relationships. I aim to use my experiences to educate and empower women. My intention is not to harm Jordan, but to give voice to every woman who has endured similar experiences and deserves to share her truth.
Dr. Nadine Macaluso is a marriage and family therapist specializing in trauma bonding and narcissistic abuse. Follow her on Instagram @therealdrnadine or visit her website.
The views expressed are solely those of the author.
As told to Monica Greep.
